My boyfriend and I were in the city last night, and usually we see a show every time we’re there and call it a date (because it’s a date) d: So we hit up Anything Goes, Mamma Mia, Sister Act, and Wicked and couldn’t find tickets anywhere! So as a last resort we snuck over to Godspell where it didn’t look like many people were head and the crowded seemed to be exponentially younger than Wicked or anywhere else…

We stood in line and waited to fill our cards for the lottery rush tickets and then we waited some more. We listened to other couples talk about “it’s freezing” or “how funny would it be if your mother was here” or “you totally live a block away” or “why are they listening to our conversation…”

And then it was time for the raffle!!!

The number kept getting called one by one, and our number wasn’t getting called at all, so we just stood there all downed and whatnot, BUT THEN, SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE, this woman runs up to us and says to me and Cameron, “I won! Here, take my ticket! I won!” She clearly saw that we didn’t understand an ounce of what she said, so she put the ticket in Cameron’s hand and gave him a nudge towards to ticket booth.

I just stood there looking like a damn dodo bird while other people in the audience tried putting 2 and 2 together just like me… But anyways, we got the tickets and were put in the winner’s line!

SIDE STORY: There was a VERY attractive 20-something-young year old in the crowd whom Cameron and I kept noticing. Anyways, after we got in the winner’s line, and this mother comes up to us and asks “Are you excited to see the show?!” and we were like “HELL YES!” and then she was like “Well, cause this is Judas!” The VERY attractive man we had seen before was standing next to her and what seemed to look like his sisters. The first thing that came out of his mouth was “Mommm, stop.”

BACK TO THE STORY: When we went in the theatre, which was the Circle in the Square, it was literally that, in the round. For anyone who doesn’t know the term “in the round,” it means that the stage is in the middle of the audience and you sit around the stage. We took our places in the pit in front of the stage and sat on the coolest looking red couch cushions I’d ever seen! I was literally leaning against the stage, that’s how close I was! I really couldn’t handle it xD

And then the show started, and I can’t even begin to describe what it felt like being that close and personal and actually getting to talk to the actors who were sitting with us in the pit during the performance… It was the most amazing thing I’d ever done on Broadway.

BUT, that’s not even the whole of it. During Act 1, one of the girls (who could sing like hell) came over to our section of the pit and grabbed Cameron and asked if she could borrow him for a minute. He said yes, and before either of us could figure out what was happening, SHE TOOK HIM ON STAGE! They gave him a mic and lines to read, and they used him as their Lazarus for the show! He was up there for a good 5 minutes and got a picture with Telly Leung (Warbler from “Glee”) and Hunter Parish (“Weeds”) and 2 of the other actors! When he came back to the pit, he was so happy he could cry (and he did, but shhhh I didn’t tell you guys that!).

Then intermission happened, that’s right, I’m not done with you guys yet! Hunter Parrish who was playing Jesus invited all of us on stage for “communion” (grape juice) and to just dance! I. Have. NEVER. Had. That. Much. Fun. On. Broadway. Before! We drank and danced, and all the while Cameron was getting “Good Job” from all these strangers in the audience! The rest of the show went just as great, and by the end of it while we stagedooring, we talked to the actors and got their autographs and went on our merry way back to Penn Station where we discussed what the fuck just happened to us that night.

Best. Show. Yet.

(Here’s a photo from Intermission. Partayyy!)

Since break had begun, I’ve been falling alseep every night holding my stuff dog really close to my chest so that I wouldn’t feel alone and that maybe he could feel me holding him at night 6 hours away.

Right before break began, he gave me one of his wife-beaters (a self-admitted weakness of mine, yep) and I took it back home with me. While I was going through a really REALLY tough period at the beginning of break, I tore my bags apart looking for this wife-beater because I knew finding it would calm me down. I was in a bit of rage at everyone and everything. I finally found the shirt and suddenly his scent was everywhere, and just as I knew it would, everything about me fell still. My mind. My thoughts. My anger…

So I took that wife-beater and I put it on my dog, which I have to admit fit it very well. Falling asleep at night and being able to hold the dog/him so close to me has helped me to go to sleep so incredibly easy, I’m still amazed. I treat this stuffed dog like I would treat him and I even find myself talking to it sometimes, which I can’t help. It just happens.

But like I hope for every night, I had one of the best dreams about him last night.

I was back in my dorm, and I subconsciously knew I wasn’t supposed to be there… My mind still registered me as being on break. But knowing that I was dreaming, I went with it. I walked down the hall and took a turn towards the door that leads outside, and out of nowhere he came at me and pummeled me against a wall. I had him in my arms! He was there and I could feel him! We must have hugged it out for hours in my dream. I could feel the muscles in his back tense up, go slack, and then tense again as he held me tighter and tighter. I could smell him and run my hand through his hair. I could hear his fast-paced breathing and feel his racing heart. Everything about that moment told me that he needed me more than I’d even expected.

From there my dream faded and I had some fucked-up side dream that is completely not important, but if you want to know what happened, I almost drowned but saved myself. Anyways, the next thing I can remember, I’m waking up in my bed in my dream and I’m no longer holding my dog, but now I’m holding him in his wife-beater. I open my eyes, and he’s smiling at me. He starts laughing and once again I’m amazed out of my mind that he’s there! Before I can say anything, he moves in for a kiss to shut me up, and for my subconscious, that was probably one of the most realistic things I’ve felt for weeks now. He continued to kiss me for as long as I remembered us hugging for, but this was all the more personal. It was just us lying under my covers, alone. Just us and no thoughts about time or space or distance or pain. Just love.

Going for days and running on as few hours of sleep as possible has been bearing down on me as hard as possible, and all I’ve really paid attention to is trying to get him back. Trying to save him. Everything was registering correctly, and everything was going perfect… not one thing went wrong. And I’ll admit, since I haven’t felt or kissed him for the past month, I forgot all the details that I wanted to hold on to the most. And something about that dream brought everything back. Everything that I’ve been furious about with myself for having forgot all the little details suddenly found its way back to my memory.

It was just me and him all night…

I need to get back to him now.

I just read “The Vast Field of Ordinary,” and now I’m crying.

Not sobbing, but just calmly crying.

Because I understand Dade (yep, Dade, not Dave), and though I haven’t been exactly in his position, I understood incredibly well his ideas on love, time, and family.

I can’t look at the book anymore.

I’m literally looking at this book as if it will disappear if I dare to pick it up again…

and my Team Leader decided to have me work in Men’s Underwear as my first objective of the day. She picked it because she “likes the ‘packaging.’”

Right away I fell in love with my Team Leader. A good amount of my day was repricing packages complete with blown up pictures of men’s crotches.

I think that was a good first day of work d: